Fans of Monty Python that also read sites such as mine should be familiar with the fantastic Election Night Special.
If so, they may recall my favourite moment, when a rival “Very Silly” candidate splits the “Silly” vote.
Voice Over: Hello, from Harpenden. This is a key seat because in addition to the
official Silly candidate there is an independent Very Silly candidate (in large
cube of polystyrene with only legs sticking out) who may split the silly vote.
Officer: Mrs Elsie Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... (obvious man in drag with enormous
joke breasts)
Voice Over: Silly.
Officer: 26,317... James Walker...
Voice Over: Sensible.
Officer: 26,318.
Voice Over: That was close.
Officer: Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper
Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (sound effect of
horse whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeker) Featherstone Smith (blows
whistle) Northgot Edwards Harris (fires pistol, which goes 'whoop') Mason
(chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert (sings) 'We'll keep a
welcome in the' (three shots, stops singing) Williams If I Could Walk That Way
Jenkin (squeker) Tiger-draws Pratt Thompson (sings) 'Raindrops Keep Falling On
My Head' Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat 'Don't Sleep In The Subway' Barton
Mannering (hoot, 'whoop') Smith.
Voice Over: Very Silly.
Officer: Two.
Voice Over: Well there you have it. A Sensible gain at Driffield
Which is why the London elections are proving to be a joy to behold.
The BBC lists the following candidates for Mayor:
- Alan Craig - Christian Peoples Alliance & The Christian Party
- Boris Johnson - Conservative party
- Brian Paddick - Liberal Democrat
- Chris Prior - Stop The Congestion Charge party
- Damian Hockney - One London party
- Dennis Delderfield - New Britain
- Gerard Batten - UKIP
- Ken Livingstone - Labour party
- Lindsey German - Left List party
- Matt O'Connor - English Democrats party
- Richard Barnbrook - BNP
- Sian Berry - Green Party
- Winston McKenzie - Independent
So we’ve got One London splitting the UKIP vote, The Left List scrabbling with the (rosy-) Greens for the disaffected socialist vote, both of whom are also fighting Galloway’s Respect on the GLA list (“The Unity Coalition”? You couldn’t make it up!), more Fascists than you can wave a stick at, and Winston McKenzie, who seems to have been through just about every political party except the Liberal Democrats.
Only Christians and Liberals appear to have remained united (thank God and Gladstone!).
You’ve gotta’ smile.
( “#'We'll keep a welcome in the'#” [three shots, stops singing] )
