Showing posts with label London. Show all posts
Showing posts with label London. Show all posts

Friday, 29 August 2008

The Swedish Model I: Why the Stockholm underground is so great

During the two years I lived in Sweden I lost count of the number of times ex-pat friends extolled the virtue of Swedish public transport and compared it favourably to its British counterpart.

The Stockholm underground, as every resident and visitor knows, is clean, cool, on time, and runs until 3am on Fridays and Saturdays. What is more, one can get a mobile phone signal deep in the underground stations (not surprisingly, one might think).

My friends were right of course. The Stockholm underground is far superior to London’s and it is about to get even better. The reason for this, however, is probably quite the opposite of what they would have guessed. As Fraser Nelson explains:

Stockholm’s privately-run underground is about to go 24 hours, the latest
innovation from Connex (now renamed Veolia). Privatising the underground is seen
as too right wing for Britain , but not Sweden which is perhaps the most
socialistic country in the world... If London Underground ran all night, I
imagine that night time attacks on women would go down dramatically. Ken
Livingstone jacked up black cab fares in the evening so more drivers now work,
but while there are now more taxis on the street few can afford them. Every
night in London , you can see women ushered into the cars of strangers shouting
‘minicab’. If Boris could get London ’s tube running till 3am, never mind 24
hours, he’d score a great victory for street safety.

Indeed. Perhaps he’d best start by privatising the Tube.



Tuesday, 18 March 2008

New parties to split the silly vote

Fans of Monty Python that also read sites such as mine should be familiar with the fantastic Election Night Special.

If so, they may recall my favourite moment, when a rival “Very Silly” candidate splits the “Silly” vote.

Voice Over: Hello, from Harpenden. This is a key seat because in addition to the
official Silly candidate there is an independent Very Silly candidate (in large
cube of polystyrene with only legs sticking out) who may split the silly vote.
Officer: Mrs Elsie Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... (obvious man in drag with enormous
joke breasts)
Voice Over: Silly.
Officer: 26,317... James Walker...
Voice Over: Sensible.
Officer: 26,318.
Voice Over: That was close.
Officer: Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper
Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (sound effect of
horse whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeker) Featherstone Smith (blows
whistle) Northgot Edwards Harris (fires pistol, which goes 'whoop') Mason
(chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert (sings) 'We'll keep a
welcome in the' (three shots, stops singing) Williams If I Could Walk That Way
Jenkin (squeker) Tiger-draws Pratt Thompson (sings) 'Raindrops Keep Falling On
My Head' Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat 'Don't Sleep In The Subway' Barton
Mannering (hoot, 'whoop') Smith.
Voice Over: Very Silly.
Officer: Two.
Voice Over: Well there you have it. A Sensible gain at Driffield

Which is why the London elections are proving to be a joy to behold.

The BBC lists the following candidates for Mayor:

  • Alan Craig - Christian Peoples Alliance & The Christian Party

  • Boris Johnson - Conservative party

  • Brian Paddick - Liberal Democrat

  • Chris Prior - Stop The Congestion Charge party

  • Damian Hockney - One London party

  • Dennis Delderfield - New Britain

  • Gerard Batten - UKIP

  • Ken Livingstone - Labour party

  • Lindsey German - Left List party

  • Matt O'Connor - English Democrats party

  • Richard Barnbrook - BNP

  • Sian Berry - Green Party

  • Winston McKenzie - Independent

So we’ve got One London splitting the UKIP vote, The Left List scrabbling with the (rosy-) Greens for the disaffected socialist vote, both of whom are also fighting Galloway’s Respect on the GLA list (“The Unity Coalition”? You couldn’t make it up!), more Fascists than you can wave a stick at, and Winston McKenzie, who seems to have been through just about every political party except the Liberal Democrats.

Only Christians and Liberals appear to have remained united (thank God and Gladstone!).

You’ve gotta’ smile.

( “#'We'll keep a welcome in the'#” [three shots, stops singing] )